Monday, October 17, 2016

The First Time I Saw a Dead Man

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Dirty Baby-Doll!!!



New Moon

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It’s a New Moon tonight.
And within myself I can feel the fight.
The liquidity of my soul peaks and wanes.
The blood rushes and heats my arctic veins.
Like the ocean I am a graceful murky fluid inside.
The battle cannot be seen from the shell on the outside.
Deep within there’s a harsh judgment taking place.
It creeps inside and poisons me with huge disgrace.
But...
The sun will shine tomorrow after the New Moon’s decline.
And upon my hair the warmth of its rays will shine.
Then I will gaze up at the crisp blue sky so vast.
And all of the gloom and pain will have faded into the past. 

Does IT Breathe?

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Tap….tap….tap….a soft but audible enough noise to wake me from my sleep and the colorful dreams my 14 year old mind was gracefully placed upon my ears.  Did I really hear anything that mattered much?  Was it only a settling of the beams above me or a tree whose branches were being pushed by the breeze? I wondered... NO that was not the case – my mind answered, with definite strength.  Whatever was making this gentle sound was caused by something that breathed, and that living air just might be seen upon the window glass behind the curtain.  Eerie thought I was having, as I curled my fist tighter up under my chin while gripping the covers.  Again…tap….tap….tap….and this time I directed my attention without moving a muscle in the softly lit but almost pitch dark room, towards my GREAT BIG BAY WINDOW that was next to me, and I happened to be facing.  Suddenly the importance created a pressure in my head and a bouncing in my heart that I could hear deep within my ears.  Was I hearing the beat of my own requiem approaching?  FEAR was growing like a quick piercing switchblade through my soul.  I couldn’t move.  I could barely take in enough air to keep me coherent.  What could this be tapping on my window, so softly and longingly?  I almost felt the need; ITS need.  The taps continued as I stayed stiff…BUT…my curious nature was calling to my limbs to soften.  GET UP…have a look….you know you want to.  It is excitement….FEAR…is excitement.  Don’t get them confused.  Get involved DO SOMETHING.  Breath deep and move towards the window.  Pull the curtains aside.  Maybe it’s a depiction of something you have been watching in fiction with fascination all of your life.  So I did just that, I took a deep breath….the tapping still, although unstable, continued as I seemingly glided towards the window, guided only by twisted curiosity.  I slowly started to pull the curtain aside as I stood in my frightgown directly in front of the tortuous soft but insistent drumming.  As I drew the material away from the window, I gazed into my own refection which was caused from the dim hall light seeping through my slightly cracked door.  The tapping continued….I saw nothing….I could not see anything on the other side.  The reflective film on my window prevented me from seeing all but my own pale face.  The tapping continued, only changed now….it was a bit louder.  IT did BREATH….IT could see me but I could not see IT.  I took a step forward closer into the bay window…still only me was what I could see.

I was IT…for now.
 

The Brady Crunch

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Quietly I step towards Mrs. Brady with the axe raised, as she just continued to wine about how Mr. Brady wouldn’t 'eat her goodies.’  Yes that’s exactly what she said.  Her voice was cutting into my ears like razorblades and making my stomach churn.  Keeping my little white vinyl shoes from making any noise as I stepped closer to her, I gazed at the back of her short blond waves, and brought that petite blade down forcefully onto the top of her head and knocked her out cold.P  She didn’t even have a chance to utter a sound.  As I yanked the axe from her head it made a squishy crunching noise that was music to my aching hears.  Coffee spilled and blood oozed onto the orange table as she slumped forward like a rag doll...’Take them goodies Mrs. Brady!’ I thought.  I then took the serrated steak knife from my apron pocket and sawed at that little neck, barely making a noise.  Her neck cut open easily like a balmy bologna...even the tendons and bones were soft - not surprising since everything was soft about Mrs. Brady.  So much warm blood flowed across that orange table and onto the laminate floor; it seemed like gallons.  It smelled sweet like cherry juice........and milk, which didn’t surprise me.  One last cut through that spongy neck and I was holding that spoiled Mrs. Brady’s skull in my hand by her silky hair.  I was gleaming with joy.

Nothing much Mr. Brady, I said as I entered the living-room with Mrs. Brady’s head held high.  I just wanted to give you a little head.

The Light is the Moon in the Dark of the Night

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The light is the moon in the dark of the night
It’s time to rest and let your dreams take flight
You can….
Dream of sparkles in the shape of hearts
Dream of blue candy that gives you the farts
Dream of a willow tree that can tell you some jokes
Dream of tiny people that give your ankles some pokes
Dream of a summer rain that sprouts 50 foot flowers
Dream of a rainbow that bleeds colored showers
Dream of a man that has a Jacuzzi on the moon
Dream of a monkey that whistles a happy tune
Dream of a bicycle that grows a horse’s tail
Dream of a dog that surfs the ocean on a whale
Open your mind as wide as the skies
And let your dreams unfold when you close your eyes….




My Dream Origin

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It was cool and delightful against my skin like an autumn forest morning with a tepid breeze...



Slight goose-bumps covered my skin as I inhaled new crisp air into my lungs.  Light was what I felt and what my eyes saw as well.  Everything before me was born of radiance and I was weightless within it.  It was glowing and calm.   What a gentle dream this is, I thought.  I wanted to envelope this everything into my being.  I wanted to be it.  What did all this mean?  I’m not sure because the thoughts that were caressing my mind were unlike anything that I’ve ever experienced.  I moved as I thought forward….moving…thinking…slowly…forward.  There was no going back….only to proceed.  Even though this is true with anything as time only goes one way; here it had a different meaning.  It was more a finality that I had ever known.  Like walking away from someone and not being able to turn your head around for one last look, no matter how hard you tried.  The choice was easy as the freshness of the cooled untainted environment gave new meaning to elation.  I took another step and my foot sank and gave way to a grand lake of crystal clearness that surrounded me...



Colors flashed before my eyes that I had never seen before, thus completely nameless and leaving my mind in a tailspin of question marks.  I lifted my arms up as I drifted downward.  Not being pulled but almost like I was guiding myself in that direction; moving with the current of my hearts wishes.  This was the way and nothing was pushing against me.  Past tears dried up along with unloving words, both becoming nonexistent.  Internal contradictions at battle in my own skull that I had painfully become accustomed to were now silenced for good.  Such a melodic silence.  The understanding fell upon me like a warm soft blanket as my feet landed on the cool watery surface of my new world. 
That above was death and this below is life... 
...and then there you were to seal my fate with a kiss...